Being a Good Parent to Teenagers

Parenting teenagers can be challenging at times. The teenage years can be a time when teens feel they are grown. They think they've learned everything they need to know. They often feel their parents are outdated and don't know what they're going through. They rebel against rules and limitations. Teenagers want to take charge of their lives but they're not quite ready for to handle the responsibility. Being a teenager is a difficult time period for young people. They are gradually making the transition from childhood to adulthood but are not quite there yet. There is an inner struggle between child and adult going on inside of them. The teenage years are a difficult time for teens as well as their parents. But there are ways to ease the transitional period for both parents and their teenage children.

Keep the lines of communication open.

Be honest with your teen. Share your feelings and concerns. Perhaps your teenager will do the same. Even if your teen doesn't open up to you right away, that's okay. Most teenagers find it difficult to talk to their parents. The important thing is that you let your teen know you are always available if he wants to talk.

Set limitations but let your teen have his say too.

Include your teen in discussions and decisions that involve him. For example, you don't want your 16 year old son out until 2 in the morning so you set a time for him to be home that is agreeable to both you and him. If you work together to set house rules your teen will be more likely to obey them and there will be less disagreements. The key is to compromise and your teenager needs to understand that as well.

Be firm and stick to your word.

Every now and then your teenager may have an unreasonable request. In certain circumstances you will have to say no. When saying no is in your child's best interest be firm and stick to your word. Your teenager may be angry or upset at first but he'll get over it.
Give your teenager responsibility.
You can't expect your teenager to be responsible if you never allow him to have any responsibility.

Give advice rather than orders.

Your teenager will be much more likely to listen to you if you advise him rather than just bark orders at him. Take the time to listen to yourself when talking to your teen. How do you really sound?

Be supportive.

Support your teen in his endeavors but allow him to learn from the consequences of his own actions. If you pick up the pieces every time he acts irresponsibly your teenager will become dependent rather than independent. Encourage your teenager to overcome obstacles and set goals for himself. Set a good example for him.

Be patient and positive.

Be patient with your teenager. Remind yourself that he is going through a difficult time too. Learn to control your anger. If you are angry over something your teen has said or done take time to calm down first and then discuss the offense with your teen later. Keep a positive attitude. If you have a negative attitude it will eventually rub off on your teen too. Negativity accomplishes nothing but a positive attitude can make a world of difference.

By Gary Pearson